Songbird
by The Room of Hidden Things
Summary: And the songbirds keep singing, like they know the score, and I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before. Beginning from their fifth year, from that fateful day. Rated M just in case
1. Volume I: Copper

_This is my new story, Songbird, inspired by listening to the song of the same title by Fleetwood Mac. It does make beautiful listening, and hopefully this story will provide beautiful reading. Though I wouldn't be so sure myself. I've been wanting to write a James and Lily fanfiction for two years now. But I never had the inspiration to spur me onwards._

_Please read, review, let me know how I'm going. I have holidays right now and I'm very keen to keep writing, so please keep checking!_

_Always, Eleanor x_

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><p><em>Sunshine was streaming through the high windows on to the bent heads, which shone chestnut and copper and gold in the bright light.<em> A large wooden sign hung in mid air, with no physical means of support, bearing the words _DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS - ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL_. The sign did not seem to alarm any of the teenagers in the room, on the contrary, their focus was drawn to a large booklet on their respective tables. A tiny man with a white cotton-ball beard and frizzy hair stood atop a pile of large ancient volumes with unrecognisable script on the spine.

'Five more minutes!' Many students jumped at the sound of his squeaky voice, which penetrated the previous silence like the crack of a whip. Instantly, the sound of hurried quills scratching parchment filled the air, the hopes for last minute scrapes at their exam. One boy, however, did not seem particularly startled at this, and instead, dropped his quill into the inkwell and leaned back into his chair, stretching, pushing his glasses up his long nose and moving a long slender arm back to ruffle his shock of already messy raven hair. Yawning, he glanced at Professor Flitwick and then turned around to grin at another boy sitting four seats behind him. Lounging in his chair at complete ease, tilting it back onto two legs and dark hair falling into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance was the second. Three seats behind him was the third. A rather pale, peaky looking boy, with sandy coloured hair, still completely absorbed by his exam, scratching his chin with the end of his quill and frowning slightly as he considered the question. Across the aisle from him was the fourth, a small, mousy-haired boy chewing his fingernails. He stared at his paper anxiously, scuffing the ground with his feet and casually glancing at his neighbour's paper for help.

These four boys, different though they were, were the foundation of the Marauders. The dictionary definition of a _marauder _will probably give you such words as; raider, plunderer, looter, bandit, or if you're into the more archaic version of description, then see buccaneer for more information. Because I myself as the narrator do things very differently, I prefer a backward order... The fourth mentioned is one Peter Pettigrew, a blundering Gryffindor with watery eyes very much resembling that, ironically enough, of a rat. The third, was one Remus Lupin, easily the most sensible of the quartet, studious, reserved and a Gryffindor too, with one giant secret he would do anything to protect. The second to be mentioned was Sirius Black, the very bright, troublemaking, first Gryffindor in his family of Slytherins, who put his charming appearance to good use. Now finally, we come to James Potter. The first of the quartet to be introduced, who, an exceptionally bright, talented, charming and athletic young man, was at this point in time, scribbling on the corner of his parchment the initials "L.E."

The "L.E" in question happened to be sitting second from the front of the Great Hall, head bent as if in prayer, with long wavy drapes of copper hair shielding her face from view. Her quill was moving from side to side at such a speed one would be mistaken for thinking their vision were blurring over.

'Quills down, please!' squeaked Professor Flitwick, and with a non-verbal use of _Accio! _and a large sweeping motion over all the students, their papers zoomed from their desks into a neat pile matching Flitwick's height exactly. A collective sigh washed over the Great Hall as the final of all tribulations had been lifted off their shoulders. Lily Evans, second from the front, lifted her head, and, eyes closed, used a small, delicate hand to push back her long copper hair, brushing it over her head and letting it stream down her back. A small smile played about her lips as she opened her almond shaped eyes. Emeralds have been shamed when it comes to Lily Evans' eyes, and not only because of beauty and colour, but because of character and emotion. Evans herself believed that everything a person feels is shown through their eyes, and took pride in her own ability to identify these emotions. James, Remus, Sirius and Peter had already bolted for the large wooden doors, James and Sirius, the tallest of the four, reached the doors first and squeezed through the crowds of other students to escape first, Remus right behind them adjusting his bag, and Peter, tripping slightly, slipped through just as the doors closed. The muffled sound of whooping and cheering met Lily's ears as she walked gracefully down the length of the Great Hall, smile sliding off her face, and rolling her eyes at the sound, knowing to whom those voices belonged to.

Upon exiting the coolness and emptiness of the Great Hall, Lily proceeded around the corner towards the large archway opening out to the school grounds. Light was streaming in and Lily was momentarily blinded stepping onto the grass, raising a hand over her almond eyes to shield her from the sun. It seemed as if the weather reflected the students' emotions; happy, carefree and warm. The end of exams brought upon this essence of invigoration, and Evans could not help but wish the sun too had eyes, so that she could read exactly what it was thinking. Glancing around, Lily spotted her closest friends from various houses sitting together on the yellowing grass. Evans was always into inter-house communications and whatnot. Celeste Ward, Hufflepuff, was lying on the grass, shoulder length wavy black hair half hidden by the daisies surrounding her face. Lily could only tell it was her from her pale skin that made her hair and features stand out. Celeste had striking blue eyes, which, much to Lily's delight, were very open and feeling. She was petite, not just short, but small in general, and even though she was the eldest of all of Lily's friends, many people treated her as though she was younger because of her height and happy demeanour. Beside Celeste sat Aurelia, a little pink from the constant sun, with bronze eyes and matching long straight hair nearing her waist. She was considered one of the beauties of Lily's fifth year, with her classic features, small upturned rosy lips, stunning wide smile and willowy grace in which she presented herself. Aurelia was a Gryffindor with Lily, and had been friends since their first night in Hogwarts. Both girls sat listening as another spoke as if in raptures. Vivian Noel was a Ravenclaw, bright, vivacious, and with a feisty, confident manner. Her long brown hair had small curls in it, which twisted their way down her back and framed her heart shaped face. Her hazel eyes were bright and alive with happiness as she told her story, and upon noticing Lily walking towards them, jumped up and ran the next two metres, throwing her arms around Lily and squeezing. She was a very affectionate child.

'Lily! Oh lovely Lily it's over! No more exams! We are free, Lils, FREE!' Her tinkling laugh brightened Lily's smile as Vivian twirled her around and pulled her over to rejoin Celeste and Aurelia.

'You've always been too enthusiastic Viv,' Aurelia stated with a grin, pulling the pair down to sit with them in the grass.

'I can't help it! That was easily the best exam I have ever sat! I could hardly sit in my chair from wanting to scream with excitement!' Vivian laughed.

Aurelia joined in and began deep conversation about the questions she guessed and whether she thought the markers would give her marks for creativity over accuracy.  
>'That question on Animagi, really got me, you know, the question about the names of the most successful Animagus' alive today. All I could think of was Professor McGonagall so I made up some random people like Elderic the Ugly and Filius the Floozy..."<p>

Celeste sat next to Lily, giving her an apologetic smile and started fussing over her, 'Are you sure you're alright? I was afraid Viv was going to squeeze you until your head popped off,' Celeste shook her head. Lily just shrugged as if to say 'My head's still on so it's fine!'

'How did you find the exam Lil?' She inquired with a small smile.

'It was really good, actually! Though I did end up rushing a lot at the end...' she trailed off and stared behind her friends' face, distracted. Celeste, frowning, turned to follow Lily's gaze, and instantly groaned when she found what she was staring at.

Aurelia instantly knew what was going to happen and stopped her conversation with Vivian, looking stricken.

'Lil, don't you dare go over there, it'll just create more damage trust me!'

But Lily, shaking her head with growing anger, got up and began rushing over to the other side of the grounds.

* * *

><p>By the lake and underneath a tree, were the Marauders. Remus was reading, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, Sirius was leaning on the tree, staring up at the groups of girls sitting around basking in the sun, and James was entertaining Peter, releasing and catching a golden snitch he had stolen. Every time James caught it, Peter would laugh and squirm about, clapping his hands excitedly.<p>

'Prongs you better stop that before Wormtail wets himself,' Sirius laughed.

'If it's bothering you,' James shrugged and began laughing at the look on Peters' face.

'James, I'm bored!' Sirius whined, sounding like a four year old child.

Remus raised his eyebrows, glancing for the first time at the pair of them, as if weighing up what exactly they might do. Remus' long legs were spread out tiredly, as if he was constantly exhausted, and his prefect badge shone from the light streaming through the branches of the tree.

James stared out at Lily who had just been hugged, or in some matter of the word, attacked by Vivian Noel. Her copper hair swished, whipping around her neck as she was spun around, a laugh emitting from her mouth which James could not hear, and her head thrown back in delight. His frown increased wondering why Evans never looked like that with him. It was very troubling for the fifteen year old.

'Ah, excellent. _Snivellus_.'


	2. Back for the Fight

_I'm back again! I had over 30 hits by this morning! I honestly feel so happy! But I wish I did get a couple of reviews though, I get very insecure about my writings and it would be good to know what you all think of my story. _

_Here is chapter two. I'm having trouble thinking up names for the chapters. Though I'm sure I'll think of a song title for all of them soon enough! _

_I hope to write the next chapter in a couple of days, I'm seeing the girls who I've based Aurelia and Vivian on tomorrow and the day after but I'll hopefully get a chapter up by the weekend. I've never been so committed to a story!_

_Always, Eleanor x_

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><p><em>Snape was on his feet again, and was stowing the OWL paper in his bag. As he left the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up. <em>The light hitting Remus' prefect badge suddenly grew dim, his eyes drawn back down towards his book, and a shadow cast him into darkness. Peter on the other hand, looked as though he were about to wet himself again, watching in growing anticipation and excitement as Sirius and James made their way towards Severus' retreating figure.

'All right, Snivellus?' said James loudly, grabbing the attention of fellow fifth year students, many of them staring shamelessly.

Snape reacted so fast that passerby's would be forgiven for thinking that James and Sirius instantly meant _ATTACK! _as far as Severus was concerned. He dropped his bag and spun around, drawing his wand when James swiftly shouted,

'_Expelliarmus!'_

Snape's wand flew from his hand, and he stood, defenceless, with a look of purest loathing on his face. Sirius, laughing, drew his wand, and lazily cried out,

'_Impedimentia!' _knocking Snape to the ground and momentarily stunning him.

Students from all around had stopped to watch, though one group still remained ignorant.

As Snape lay on the ground, unable to move, James and Sirius closed the gap between them, standing right over him in intimidation. Remus slumped from view and took advantage of the shade cast by the tree. Peter watched on hungrily, not taking care to hide the emotion from his eyes.

'How'd the exam go, Snivelly?' said James.

'I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,' said Sirius viciously. 'There'll be smudge marks all over it and wont be able to read a single word.'

Snape was attempting to regain his footing, but the jinx was still keeping him firmly on the ground.

'You - wait, you - wait!' Snape breathed, spitting out each word.

'Wait for what, Snivelly? You to wipe your nose on us?'

The growing crowd laughed, spurring James and Sirius' confidence in the matter. Severus spat out groups of jinxes and profanities, though nothing happened, his wand still lay a few feet away from his hand.

'Wash out your mouth,' said James coldly.

'_Scourgify!' _Pink bubbled appeared in Snape's mouth, and he coughed and spluttered.

He was choking.

'LEAVE HIM _ALONE!' _

Lily had finally pushed through the crowd, Aurelia, Celeste and Vivian behind her, trying to pull her back.

'Stop it guys, I need to do this,' the trio let her go, understanding Lily at last.

Her hair was whipped around her face, parts flying in the faint breeze. Her eyes were bright and furious, sparking as if with electricity, her cloak was crushed and given to Vivian, revealing a crinkled white Oxford shirt and neat knee length skirt.

James thought she'd never looked so lovely. Too bad she was angry at him.

'All right, Evans?' said James, turning his voice from cold and vicious to pleasant, deeper and more mature. His hand shot up self consciously towards his hair, and Lily's frustration only grew further.

'Leave him alone,' Lily said quietly, her voice was calm, but with the effect of someone who was trying to restrain themselves from screaming. She eyed Sirius and James with dislike. 'What's he ever done to you?'

James and Sirius looked at each other briefly, then, glancing down at Snape spluttering on the dirt, replied, 'Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean.'

The crowd laughed louder, and the sound was unbearable to Lily, worse than fingernails on a chalkboard.

'You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter,' she said coldly.

'Leave him alone,' she repeated again.

'I will if you go out with me, Evans,' James interjected quickly, flashing a wide grin as if it would sway the decision.

'Go on, go out with me and I'll never lay a finger on old Snivelly again.'

In James and Sirius' distraction, they turned their backs to Severus, who was beginning to be freed from the effects of the _Impediment _Jinx. His hand crawled closer to his wand.

'I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,' said Lily, seeming immensely proud of herself.

James' smirk vanished, and for a second, Lily noticed something in his hazel eyes flicker, it was so quick however, that Lily hadn't even begun to think what it could mean. Severus' hand inched closer.

'Bad luck, Prongs,' said Sirius briskly, and both he and James turned back to look at Severus.

The crowd gasped.

'OI!' But it was too late; Snape had already gotten hold of his wand, pointed it right towards James's face, there was a flash of light, the sound of a slice cut through the atmosphere and blood splattered over his robes and onto the grass below him. James staggered backwards, and moved his slender arm to touch the spot, Snape hit his cheek, just below his eye. If Snape had aimed a fraction higher...

Sirius retaliated, roaring with anger and within another instant, Snape was dangling in the air as if suspended by a rope tied to his ankle, his robes flipped down, covering his face and revealing to the jeering crowd a pair of skinny, pallid legs and greying underpants.

Sirius, James and Peter roared with a new emotion, laughter.

Lily caught herself, trying to maintain her furious expression as the sight almost caused her to smile,

'Let him down!'

'Certainly,' said James, jerking his wand upwards to perform the counter-curse. Severus plunged to the ground, becoming a heap of robes upon the dirt. As he disentangled himself, Snape's eyes never looked so black, drawing his wand and he pointed it at James a second time, but Sirius interjected again, '_Petrificus Totalus!' _and Severus keeled over, falling to the ground unable to brace himself as his face hit the dirt, unmoving.

Lily could not believe what she was seeing, she was a prefect, Severus was her friend, she had to defend him, she repeated for a final time, 'LEAVE HIM ALONE!'

Pulling out her wand, she directed it at the two boys who'd caused Severus so much pain over the years.

James and Sirius eyed her warily, her skills in charms and jinxes were exceptional, and the pair did not want to give her an excuse to use her abilities on them.

'Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you,' said James with a hint of worry in his eyes. Lily read this look very well. She made her final demand, knowing that James would oblige her.

'Take the curse off him.'

James, sighing deeply, turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse, Sirius looked aghast at James. They never backed off when it came to Snivellus.

'There you go, you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus.'

Snape picked himself up, wiping his nose and mouth on the sleeve of his robes and anger practically burst forth from him,

'I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!'

The crowd was silent, all eyes turned to Lily.

She blinked.

Evans knew that this day was coming, for years now, ever since Sev had begun hanging out more with Avery, Macnair and Nott from Slytherin, the changes in him, to Lily, seemed as if he was unrecognisable. To her, there no longer was the boy who was tortured by his father at home. He wasn't the sweet young kid who told her about magic. She could see it in his eyes. Black, unfeeling, empty. He was dead to her now.

'Fine, I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus._'

'APOLOGISE TO EVANS!' James roared, he too seemed deranged, as he pointed his wand at Snape.

Lily turned to face him cooly, her demeanour had changed completely, from her angry, defending stance to her graceful pose that was back in place, and she seemed untouchable.

'I don't want _you _to make him apologise,' she said softly, 'you're just as bad as he is.'

'What?' yelped James. 'I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!'

'Messing your hair because you think its cool to look like you've just got off a broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can even get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.'

And with that, Lily turned on her heel towards her friends and the castle, pushing an outraged Vivian and Aurelia with the help of Celeste back towards the castle and into sanctuary.

* * *

><p>The sun had disappeared.<p>

'Let's get out of here, okay?' Lily's voice was soft as she addressed Celeste. She knew better than to pity Lily, so she just nodded and continued pulling Aurelia with them.

'OH, Let me at him, I swear he'll wish he'd never been born!' She was furious, 'How _dare _he say that to you? I know he's evil, Lily, but you were always his friend. He just-'

'I know,' Lily interrupted, she was pained to think of it. 'Let's just not talk about it here.'

* * *

><p>'What is with her?' said James, trying and failing to make it seem like a throwaway question with no real importance to him.<p>

'Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate,' said Sirius quietly.

James looked furious with himself, 'Right,' He turned back to Severus. 'Right, who wants to see me take Snivelly's pants off?'

* * *

><p>Vivian led the way, knowing exactly where to go. The quartet, being in different houses, had to find an alternative meeting place, as they could not use any one house common rooms. So they headed towards the library in silence, only the sound of their shoes clapping against the marble and stone floors gave any notice to them being there. Staircase after staircase they climbed until turning right at the end of a long corridor, the smell of old books filled their senses. The library had been their sanctuary since first year, and was where Lily and Aurelia first found Celeste and Vivian, who had been comforting a crying Celeste. Celeste was a muggle-born like Lily, though found it much harder to keep up the face of confidence against the Slytherins.<p>

Their meeting place was a small alcove in the depths of the Hogwarts Library. The air was musky, and the books piling the stands around them had a thick layer of dust about them, the quartet knew, even back in first year, that they would not be disturbed or overheard. The light from outside ceased to shine, and Vivian used her wand to light one of the oil lamps taking hold on Lily's hand and pulling her into the unending depths. They found their alcove, and only when sitting down to make themselves comfortable, did Lily speak.

'I knew this was going to happen,' her voice broke.

Aurelia looked pained, 'Lil, you did your best, you tried to convince him not to talk to them, but really, they have all their classes together and live in the same dormitory, you couldn't really do much,' she looked to Celeste and Vivian for support. Vivian obliged.

'Look, Lily,' she began softly, 'I know this is hard, but I think you're better off without him, that spell he used on James was rotten. I've never seen a spell like that before...'

'He made them himself,' Lily's voice shook, 'I knew what was going to happen when he used that spell, he had promised me he would never use them when I found out about it, but he used it anyway...'

They were silent. Celeste spoke up.

'What will you do now?'

'He will definitely try to talk to you,' Aurelia interjected.

'I know he will,' Lily sighed resignedly, 'what am I supposed to say to him though? You've been my friend since before Hogwarts but I can't anymore, bye!' Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

'Just tell him anyone who calls you... _that, _can't obviously care for yo-'

A muffled scream met their ears, echoing down the long corridor and piercing their whispered voices like a knife. Their eyes bulged in alarm and they looked at each other.

Vivian stood up, 'What was that?' and rushing out of the alcove, she squinted into the darkness and set off. The remaining trio hurried, grabbing their bags and running out to follow Vivian. The oil lamp extinguished suddenly they were plunged into darkness. Celeste screamed as she rammed into a bookcase.

'What luck...' she mumbled, muttering _Lumos! _and getting up to rejoin her friends.

As they exited the library, they saw Madam Pomfrey holding up a young girl from Gryffindor. It was Mary Macdonald. Blood was dripping from around her stomach region and stained her pristine white shirt.

'Mary! Are you all right?' Lily's voice was high pitched and shocked as she rushed over to help Madam Pomfrey.

Aurelia and Vivian began interrogating the nurse as she headed towards the Hospital Wing.

'Look Miss Noel, Miss Calder, I'm afraid I'm rather busy at the moment, come back later if you wish to see Miss Macdonald. Oh thank you, Miss Evans but it's really not necessary, back to your dormitories immediately!' and she shuffled off with an unconscious Mary in her arms.

Celeste looked frightened. 'What could have happened to her?'

Lily rushed to her as her face paled more that it originally was - that was always a warning sign. 'Celeste, honey, it's okay, Mary's strong, you know her! She'll pull through, maybe she just fainted from the heat and hit her stomach on something sharp?'

Aurelia piped up, 'Yeah you're looking pale Cell, let's go get some dinner okay? Get some colour back into your cheeks,'

'Not that you had any colour to begin with!' laughed Vivian and Celeste chuckled slightly.

As they re-entered the Great Hall, they noticed the Gryffindor table to be closely knit in conversation.

'I'm going to go see if anyone from Hufflepuff knows what happened', and she walked unconfidently down to the table to the left of Gryffindor and taking a seat by Amelia Bones the Hufflepuff prefect.

'Good thinking on Celeste's part, I'll see if Olivier knows anything, goodness knows he gets more gossip than I do!' and Vivian skipped off cheerily towards Ravenclaw on the right of Gryffindor's table, leaving Aurelia and Lily to walk down to dinner. James, Remus, Sirius and Peter were in close conversation as Lily and Aurelia sat down, but James lifted his head as he noticed Lily.

* * *

><p>'Look, James - J- James pay attention,' and Sirius following his gaze, groaned and slapped him across the face with a <em>whack! <em>

'OI!' Prong's eyes snapped back to Sirius and, rubbing his reddening cheek furiously, his eyes narrowed.

'Was that really necessary Padfoot?'

'Unfortunately for you, it _wasn't, _Prongs, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity,' grinned Sirius, flashing his straight white teeth.

Remus drew his head closer to them over the table, 'Guys, do you know who attacked Mary?'

'Macdonald?' Peter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 'What happened to her?'

'She was found unconscious by Madam Pomfrey as she made her way back from the staff room.'

Sirius looked grave, an odd occurrence for him, 'I head Poppy talking about it. Slytherins.' he growled darkly.

Little to their knowledge, a pair was in fact listening in on their conversation. Sirius caught her eye.

'Oi, you! Are you listening to us?' he mocked outrage, placing a hand dramatically over his heart.

Aurelia raised her eyebrow. 'I have a name, Black, I know remembering things can be difficult for you, but do try.' She grinned evilly back at him.

'Hey! I resent that!' Now Sirius looked genuinely shocked. 'James! Tell them I'm smart! Ja-ames!' Potter was too busy choking with laughter over his Pumpkin Juice.

Sirius turned to the others, 'Remus! Tell them will you! How I got so well on my last Charms essay!'

Remus smiled lopsidedly, 'Padfoot, you know full well that you copied my assignment and pretended that I cheated off you. So in essence, I in fact did well in that assignment.'

Sirius pouted and furrowed his eyebrows, 'What great friends I have.'

'Lily looked up from her plate of steaming Shepherd's pie, her favourite. 'Do you know who exactly in Slytherin was responsible? We saw Madam Pomfrey pulling Mary into the Hospital Wing and we didn't see anyone else around,' she looked at Aurelia for confirmation. 'It's true,' Aurelia said, 'No-one was there.'

'Of course not, Evans, the slimy buggers would have run off by the time Poppy got to her.'

Something clicked inside of Lily's mind, and she looked up at James to find him staring at her. She payed no attention and her eyes flickered to his cheek, a small cut that seemed to be weeks old was gleaming there, outlined by a red hand mark.

Cuts, blood, Mary Macdonald, promises, _Sectumsempra... _

It all flashed behind her eyes and she realised that she had forgotten to breathe. She took a giant gasp of air, the Marauders and Aurelia looked over at her in alarm.

'I know who it was,' Lily began to tremble all over, whether it be in shock, anger or for fear of crying she knew not.

Peter looked eagerly at Lily, 'Who was it?'

She looked at him briefly with glazed eyes, and said one word.

_'Severus.'_


	3. Spells and Scars

_Hello everybody! Third update in two days. Oh I am brilliant. Please please PLEASE review! I haven't got one yet, but I've been favourited once already and I have about 100 hits between both chapters! _

_Okay so I keep forgetting to do this:_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other affiliated characters, settings, objects or concepts. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. The characters who are unrecognisable are of my own creation.**_

_There! Okay so have fun. Read etc. A lot of these conversations were built on the excerpts from the Order of the Phoenix and the Deathly Hallows. But this is the last chapter to use those, and everything else will be purely my creation from then on!_

_Always, Eleanor x_

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><p>'I'll see you in the common room,' Lily directed this to Aurelia, who looked up in alarm.<p>

'But you've hardly had anything to eat! It's Shepherd's Pie! You're favourite!'

'I know but, I just need to go for a walk, not really hungry,' Lily lied easily.

'Okay... Are you sure you're all right? I can come with you if you like!' Aurelia looked up at Lily concernedly.

Lily looked around her sitting with the Marauders. Aurelia and James were friends, and she really wanted some time alone.

'No, it's okay, I'll let you eat,' Lily smiled, it felt like a grimace, 'I'll talk to you when you get back to the dormitory.'

With that, Lily turned on her heel, adjusting her bag and keeping her eyes focussed ahead of her, determined not to look where she knew Slytherin sat.

James watched Lily's retreating figure. 'Aurelia,' he started, flickering his eyes towards her, 'did Evans say Snape did this?'

Aurelia smelt trouble already, 'No James, I think she's just a bit shocked about today, Snape was her friend, you know.' Aurelia smiled guiltily at her lie, but James didn't seem to notice. He grunted in response.

That was one thing he would never understand about Evans. How could she be friends with a slimy, Dark Arts loving freak like Snape and refuse to even give James the light of day?

What was wrong with him? What, heaven forbid, did Snape have that James didn't?

* * *

><p>While everyone was distracted, Severus stood and slinked his way towards the entry of the Great Hall. He himself needed to speak to Lily before it was too late.<p>

He'd spent all of dinner in disbelief watching as Lily sat voluntarily near Potter and even spoke to him at one point. Though he could not hear what they were saying, for all he knew she could have been insulting him, but Severus was always first to jump to conclusions.

He had to be sure.

Lily was breathing deeply, trying to regain her thoughts. Everything in a space of 20 seconds had just rushed around her, muddling her brain. She was never affected by anything like this. Then again, maybe it was because nothing this severe had ever been brought to her attention.

How could Severus do this to her? After all they've been through, he goes and does the one thing he promised her that he would _not _do. That_ spell... not a spell,_ she corrected herself, _a curse_. Causing such damage to a person, physical damage. Not to defend, but to seriously maim. Why would Sev wish that upon anyone?

Her thoughts were disrupted by the faint sound of footsteps on the cobbled stones of the courtyard, muffled slightly from a layer of weeds that had forced their way through the pavement. Lily turned her head in alarm, her hair swishing violently and whipping her across the face.

There he stood, tall, but lean, shrunken, seemingly unloved and uncared for. Lily could feel the tears well up, but she refused to show him this side of her. No longer would she remain vulnerable in his presence.

'I thought I'd find you here,' Severus murmured softly. Seeing the look in her eyes as one that didn't seem threatening, he started towards her.

'Stop!' Lily cried, her eyes flashing in anger, and, did Snape detect a flicker of _fear?_ He paused, ten metres away from her. He ached to be nearer.

'What's wrong with you, Lily? I thought we were supposed to be friends? _Best _friends.'

'We are-We... We were, Severus. I dont like some of the people you're hanging around with. I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev? What do you see in any of them?'

Snape was silent. It was obvious that she still needed to say more. He would allow her that.

Lily wrapped her arms around her and continued, 'What did you do to Mary, Severus. Tell me the truth.'

His sallow face paled. He had not been expecting that. 'It was nothing, we were having a laugh and Macdonald sticks her nose in everyone's busine-'

'It was Dark Magic.' Lily cut him short, ending his tirade of speech abruptly.

'It was _Dark_ Magic', she repeated, 'you... You _promised _me that you would _never _use that spell. _Never_. And you use it twice in one day? Severus what is _wrong _with you!'

'What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?' demanded Snape. His colour rose back into his sallow cheeks, he seemed unable to contain his resentment.

'What's Potter got to do with anything?' said Lily.

'They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where do you think he keeps going?'

'He's ill,' sighed Lily, she was tired of this conversation. 'They say his ill-'

'Every month at the full moon?'

'I know your theory,' Lily sounded cold, 'Remus is kind, he's very smart and I think whatever it is that is wrong with him, we should give him the respect to keep it private.'

'It is our business if he's a werew-'

'Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? What do you care about what they're doing? Sneaking around and following them...' Lily trailed off at the look in Severus' eyes, something close to disbelief and fear was lodged there within the black, emptiness. Lily could not understand why.

'I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are.'

'They don't use Dark Magic, though.' She dropped her voice to a whisper. 'And you're being really ungrateful. I head what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there -'

Snape's face contorted with rage.

'Saved? _Saved?_ You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his own neck,' the fear in his eyes grew more prominent. 'You're not going to - I won't let you-'

'Let me? _Let me?' _Lily's green eyes turned to slits, she looked unrecognisable, no one could ever make her this angry, not even Potter.

Snape began to backtrack immediately, 'I didn't mean - I just don't want to see you made a fool of- he fancies you, James Potter fancies you!' The words tumbled from his mouth as if against his will. 'And he's not... Everyone thinks... Big Quidditch hero-' Snape's dislike became more prominent with each word, spitting them out as if they were venom.

Lily on the other hand, grew more suspicious, her eyebrows travelled up her forehead until they threatened to disappear behind her fringe.

'I know James Potter is an arrogant toerag, you don't need to tell me that. But he'd never call me a Mudblood.' Lily thought of how he yelped when she suggested it that afternoon.

'Don't call yoursel-'

Lily laughed savagely, 'Don't call myself that? Well, _you _called me that. If you can rattle your brains to think that far back. And you come back here telling me who I can and cannot see? Who do you think you are?'

'I'm sorry.'

'I'm not interested.'

'I'm sorry, though!'

'Save you're breath.'

'I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just -'

'Slipped out?' There was no pity in Lily's voice.

'It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends - you see! You don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to become! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?'

Snape opened his mouth, but no words came.

Lily's voice dropped in volume, 'I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine.'

'No - listen, I didn't mean-'

'-To call me Mudblood?' Her voice strengthened with passion, 'Why should I believe you? You call every one of my birth the same name and somehow I'm different? What makes me different Severus? Go on.'

Snape struggled with speech, as if he was trying to finally tell her something he had been concealing for years. No sound came.

* * *

><p>Vivian sat at the Ravenclaw table for dinner, digging into a pile of baked potatoes and chicken wings She briefly considered her Quidditch fitness regime, but shrugged the thought away and continued eating. Olivier Durand made his way towards her and sat himself down on her right. A fellow fifth year and very close friend, Olivier moved to England from France when he was six, and spoke without an accent at all, though he was very fluent in French. He had olive tanned skin, was average height with a thin face and dusty brown hair that fell into his eyes. He had dark brown eyes that stood out through his hair and they always told Vivian what he was thinking.<p>

'Hey Viv, how are you?' he asked, smiling at her quickly and moving to steal one of her chicken wings.

'Oi!' She swatted his hand away, his grin becoming a scowl as he nursed his hand, 'I'm fine thanks, how're you and Rachael going?'

Rachael Faukner was a fellow fifth year Ravenclaw, and unfortunately one of the girls with whom Vivian never got a long with in their dormitory. Beautiful yet rambunctious, Rachael enjoyed attention, and was very skilled in getting it. She was easily talented, but the kind of simple grace in which she gained her intelligence was always irritating to Vivian, who always worked above and beyond to achieve her marks. Rachael and Olivier had been seeing each other for the majority of fifth year, all seemed to be going strong.

Olivier grimaced, 'She's been a bit moody lately, that's the one thing about dating Rachael, you never really know what she's thinking or where you stand.'

Vivian snorted in a very undignified manner, 'Sounds like extreme dating to me.'

He laughed, 'Merlin, I'd never thought of it like that! But I guess you're right,' he smiled again at her.

'How's Lily?'

Vivian shrugged her shoulders, her mouth full, swallowing, she said, 'to be expected.'

Olivier nodded in affirmation, an understanding smile crinkling his eyes, 'Mmm, why she puts up with it, I have no idea. She deserves better. She's never been...' He searched for the word, motioning with his hands, '_involved _with him has she?' Vivian spat out her Pumpkin Juice. 'Oh Merlin, _no!_' She laughed and shook her head.

'My what a disturbing image, what made you think that Ol?'

'Just that she spent so much time with him,' he shrugged, 'Snape always seemed to like her.'

Vivian shook her head as if to get the image out of it. 'Urgh, Snape and Lily, that's disastrous, he's so _evil _though, Ol!'

'That's true, and I repeat again, Lily deserves better. Oh, I think Celeste is trying to get you're attention.' He motioned behind Vivian, and turning, she saw Celeste, looking much more coloured, racing towards her with a slightly concerned look on her face.

"Uh, Olivier,' Vivian said, turning back to him, 'I think I'm gonna go okay, I'll see you in the Common Room! You promised me a game of Exploding Snap, remember!' Then hugging him fleetingly and placing a small kiss on his cheek Vivian jumped up, ruffled his hair and went to meet Celeste.

'Cell, what's wrong?' Vivian said, as she approached her friend.

'I was talking to Amelia Bones, you know, in Hufflepuff?' Vivian nodded, 'Well, she said that she saw Snape and Mulciber running away from one of the corridors this afternoon, she was just walking back towards the library when she saw them.' She lowered her voice.

'You don't think... That, well... Snape did it?'

Celeste seemed to be struggling with the concept of people purposely hurting each other.

Vivian spoke up to comfort her, 'Look, Cell, I think Lily would have figured it out too, let's go find her and talk about it okay?' Celeste nodded, the distraction was helping.

'Have you seen Lily though? I went to find her before, but Aurelia is sitting at the Gryffindor table with Potter and his friends, I didn't see Lily anywhere.'

Instantly suspicious, Vivian's hazel eyes flickered around the room quickly, landing at an empty place next to Avery on the Slytherin table. Her eyes widened, and, gripping Celeste's hand, she rushed towards Aurelia.

'Aurelia, where is she?' She looked up in alarm at the pair, 'She said she went back to the dormitory, that she wasn't hungry, why what's hap-argh!' Vivian cut her short, pulling her by the scruff of her neck off the stool completely and, with Celeste pulling on her arm, was led down the Great Hall towards the courtyard while the boys roared with laughter at Aurelia's performance.

* * *

><p>'Severus, obviously you have no more to say to me, so if you don't min-' Lily was cut short by Snape's anguished expression, he walked towards her. 'Sev, stop it. Stay right there...' He kept walking towards her, 'Severus! Stop it. Don't move closer!' He was almost completely in front of her. 'Snape! Get away from me!'<p>

Her eyes widened in fear, and Snape's hurt eyes looked searchingly as he reached out for her.

'Why are you scared of me Lily?'

'I now know what you're capable of.' Her voice shook.

Severus looked into her eyes, and in a swift motion, moved towards her as if to embrace her, but was interrupted.

'Lily? Where are you? Oh Merlin, Vivian I should never have let you lead us anywhere.'

'Look, how am I supposed to know where she is, Aurelia?'

'Guys, calm down for a minute I thought I heard voices,' Lily identified the softer voice as Celeste's. She breathed in relief.

Snape looked at her and stepping back, shrunk into the shadows, his dark eyes, hair and clothing camouflaged him instantly.

'Lily!' Celeste was the first to reach her, 'Merlin, we've been worried, when we didn't see you at dinner and then we noticed Snape was missing we thought the worst. Did he come to see you?'

'Not now,' Lily whispered, hoping that Severus wouldn't hear her. 'Let's just go to our common rooms now okay? I'm really tired.'

Vivian looked like she wanted to object, but Celeste placed a gentle hand on her arm and began moving back towards the yellow lights cast from inside the castle.

Inside the warmth of the Entrance Hall, Celeste turned to the trio. 'I'm this way guys, I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast?'

Lily smiled at her, 'Of course Cell, then we'll go get the carriages to the Hogwarts Express. But we'll discuss this all tomorrow!'

Aurelia and Vivian bade their goodbyes, and with a smile and a small wave, Celeste headed down the side corridor with Amelia Bones towards the kitchens and the Hufflepuff Common Room.

Aurelia shivered, 'It must be so warm in Cell's dormitory, they're right next to the kitchens and underground! Us kids in the towers just freeze on nights like this.'

Vivian laughed and was joined by Olivier who sidled up next to him with Rachael Faukner on his arm.

'Now what are you lovely ladies doing out on a night like this?' He grinned at the three, his eyes landing on Lily with concern as if to say, _Are you all right? _Lily smiled in response.

Rachael looked particularly miffed at his friendly countenance around three other girls, and dragged him away slightly.

'Oh! Duty calls m'ladies, I'll see you on the train tomorrow!' And Vivian, frowning slightly turned back to Lily and Aurelia.

'I've never liked her.'

They climbed another staircase.

'We know,' Aurelia and Lily said in unison. 'You've been saying that for, oh, how long?' Lily asked.

'All day?'

'All week?'

'All month?'

'All _year?' _They again ended in unison.

Vivian grumbled. 'Yeah, yeah, really funny guys. I can hardly contain my laughter.'

Lily laughed, and Aurelia draping her arms around Vivian with some difficulty (Vivian was a bit taller) said, 'Aww, Viv, you know we love you! But you should really get a move on with Olivier.'

Vivian spluttered, and turned to Lily to share an indignant glance, but Lily was wearing a smile and knowing look upon her delicate face.

'You're kidding.'

'Nope!' said Aurelia, her evil grin back in place.

'Lily, back me up here,' they stopped at the top of one staircase, 'tell Aurelia how bonkers she's being!'

'I can't do that, Viv,' Lily winked, 'that would be lying!'

'What!' Vivian was aghast. 'You both have gone insane! I cannot stand insane people, one of the reasons I was sorted into Ravenclaw! Now go get some sleep and return to me tomorrow with an actual sane comment about the matter!'

Lily laughed and bade her goodnight, Aurelia saluted her and they parted ways, Vivian heading up towards Ravenclaw tower alone, while Aurelia and Lily continued up several more staircases.

'You'd think,' Aurelia puffed, 'that after five years of being in this damned place,' she took a deeper breath, 'that we'd find more short cuts to get to the common room without all this pain!'

Lily just shook her head in amusement and they continued to climb until reaching the corridor that led them to the Fat Lady.

The portrait today wore a dress of pink, puffy, satin, and her hair had been newly curled.

'Password?'

'Oscen,' pronounced Lily clearly.

The Fat Lady inclined her head, swung forward to reveal the familiar round hole in the wall, and helping each other up, they both entered the warm common room, adorned with red and gold furniture, and, spotting a pair of the good armchairs by the fire that a couple of second years had just vacated, they raced towards them to warm up.

Settling in, Aurelia said, 'Lily, tell me what happened, I know you're upset. I can see it in your eyes.'

Lily looked down at her twisted hands in her lap, and drew her feet beneath her.

She remained silent, as if finding the words.

'Lily, look at me,' Aurelia's voice was sweet and understanding.

Lily raised her eyes, and once she met her wide, gold ones, words spilled from her mouth. She told her everything. From noticing small changes in Severus, to seeing him hanging out with Avery and Nott. She spoke about how she once caught Snape practicing the _Sectumsempra_ curse on some old sheets, and how she remembered the clean slices in the linen, imagining them on a persons skin. And she spoke about tonight, the fear in Snape's eyes, the look of longing that he directed at her. How uncomfortable she felt.

Tears welled once again, 'And the worst part is, Aurelia, that I don't know what to do now, all I'd ever known about this world is from him. Now he's gone. When I look at him, I don't see the Severus I used to know. I don't know where he's gone, Aurelia!' The tears spilled out onto her cold cheeks, causing her to shudder.

Aurelia looked distressed, and standing up off her chair moved towards Lily's shuddering frame and engulfed her in a hug.

'Lily,' her voice was soothing. 'Listen to me, okay? This is really important.' She drew back to look at her, 'Are you listening?' Lily nodded. 'Okay,' she wrapped her arms around her again.

'You are not alone. Vivian, Celeste and I are here for you. We've always been. Even though we didn't introduce you to this world doesn't change anything. Celeste found out through a letter, she didn't have anyone else to tell her, and look at her! She's fine! Maybe not as confident as the rest of us, but she didn't depend on anyone to get her through the change.'

Lily looked up at Aurelia.

Aurelia's heart panged, she'd never seen Lily cry before. Her emerald eyes stood out against the previously whites of her eyes. They were bloodshot, and tear stains were streaked down her cheeks.

She was a very sorry sight.

'Sometimes I think Celeste ought to have been in Gryffindor with bravery like hers,' Lily said, her voice thick and heavy.

Aurelia laughed, 'the Sorting Hat knew what it was doing. And it knew when it sorted you, too! Lily, you're so brave! You know that you can do this.'

Lily's faced cracked into a smile, and Aurelia passed her a few tissues and wiped a final tear from her cheek.

'Come on, let's get us to bed, we have a lot of last minute packing to do in the morning.'

Lily stood up and walking towards Aurelia, took her hand and together they walked up the staircase towards the girls dormitory.

* * *

><p><em>Just some background info:<em>

_Oscen - means Songbird in latin. I was very proud of myself for google translating it_

_I hope you all noticed, when Snape was stepping closer and closer to Lily, that her defence and her fear grew so much that her addresses to him went from Sev, her nick name for him, to Severus, to Snape. Further creating that gap between them._

_This is the third chapter I've posted in 24 hours. Hell to the yes!_

_x_


	4. Last Call

_Ohhhhh the JOYS of two reviews! Okay requested by Bree, even though I already had this planned :3 More Lily and James interaction, I really had to get the introductions in though, so now that's all done and dusted it's time to get to the nitty gritty. _

_Look out for some genuine interaction between the pair, doing what we know they do best. Fight! _

**ALSO: C_heck my homepage because there's a poll in regards to the direction this story will take. Please vote._**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other affiliated characters, places, objects etc. I am not JK Rowling however much I would wish to possess her literary talents.**_

_Always, Eleanor x_

_PS. Just clearing up something, when Vivian talks to Olivier and it looks like she's saying Oi! all the time, she's actually saying Ol, as in a nickname of Olivier. I realised that's what it looked like after I published it!_

* * *

><p><em>The light pushed its way forcefully through the iron welded windows, misty from the morning dew, and casting a red glow on the already red and gold room. <em>The light was an unpleasant reminder to the rooms inhabitants of the world, time and place.

The boys grunted in their sleep, the dawning sun disrupting their previous content. One boy however, rose from his bed, drawing aside the curtains of his four poster to stare, bleary eyed around the room. Remus was still asleep, head to the side and arms splayed out on the mattress. Peter was hidden beneath a ball of sheets, only recognisable from one grey sock covered foot gutting out of the side of the bed. Sirius was flat on his back, the sheets cast aside hastily throughout sleep, his hair covering his eyes in a comedic way, his mouth agape. James rubbed his eyes, and putting on his glasses, snorted at the sight of his friends. Rising from the bed, he moved over to the window and bent down to stare out, wiping away the mist with his hand.

James hadn't slept well last night, and leaning his head against the window pane, letting his warm breath cast fog against the smudgy window, he reviewed all he had run over in his brain.

Lily had an approximately 90% majority over all his other thoughts; What did she mean with muttering Snape's name at dinner? Why was Aurelia lying about it, what did she have to hide? Why was Lily friends with Snape?

And the final, most excruciatingly painful thought moved to the front of his brain, causing a grimace to form, having nothing to do with the cold window or his lack of sleep.

What does Snape have that James doesn't?

Other than a complete fetish for the Dark Arts and You-Know-Who, in which James was quite proud of not sharing those with Snape, he was at a loss to know what would actually make Lily like him?

James furrowed his eyebrows, trying to remember if there was ever a time in which Lily did not look at him with scorn. His eyes flew open, a memory occurring to him. Lily's stare last night. Although her eyes did seem glazed, she may not have been looking at him at all. But James decided that for his purposes, she was.

'Wha's goin' on?' Sirius muttered from his tangled sheets.

'What? Oh, sweet mother of Merl-', in his struggle, the sheets caught on his feet and Sirius twisted off the side of his bed, landing on his back. 'OW!'

James's thoughts snapped back to the ends of his brain, locking the thoughts away with a key, and laughing unashamedly at Sirius' blunder.

Remus jerked awake, and taking one glance at James laughing hysterically, holding onto the banister of his bed for support, and the sight of Sirius splayed out on the floor with his legs still caught in his sheets, he could only roll his eyes and let a small smile play about his lips.

'I have absolutely no idea what happened, nor do I believe I would like to be informed,' Remus announced getting out of bed and smoothing down his hair. He walked over to his calendar above the chest of drawers shared by the boys.

His heart plummeted.

James, who had finally regained his senses, moved towards Remus, and looking at the distraught look on his face, his lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed, he looked up at the calendar.

He could not hide his guilt when his heart swooped a little with excitement.

'One week until full moon...' Remus trailed off.

Sirius, who had somehow managed to untangle his legs, but tangle the sheets around his torso in stead, looked up (with difficulty) and grinned pleasantly.

'Excellent!' He attempted to stand up, and failed. 'Hey, Prongs, would you mind?' He motioned with his head towards the sheets strapping himself down.

As James went to help Sirius, Remus could only stare at the calendar in fear. Each new moon brought on new fears and trepidations. Would he attack someone? What if he inflicted his _disgusting _disease onto another innocent person? Or, Merlin forbid, a child?

Remus shuddered, and instead, brought to light the selfish point of view of the animagus'. Nothing would happen if Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail were with him, keeping him in check.

However, he could not fully quench the strange feeling that this new found monthly excitement could not last for long. He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of squealing, and looking up in alarm, turned to see Peter on the floor surrounded by a laughing James and Sirius.

'I don't want to know...'

And the four boys went down to breakfast, lighthearted, and completely at ease with the world.

* * *

><p>The inhabitants of the fifth year girls dormitory awoke to a much more tame morning. Lily awoke first, and getting changed into her uniform and fastening her cloak, she began to pack some of the final pieces into her trunk, clasping it shut with a small <em>click! <em>

Lily had done a lot of thinking the night before, and she agreed with Aurelia. She could do this, she could live her life without Severus. She gave him multiple opportunities to follow the light, but he preferred the dark. They had chosen their paths. She was determined to look him in the eye and let him know it.

Swooping her hair into a high pony tail, letting a few strands fall out around her fringe, Lily turned to wake Aurelia when another girl entered the dormitory with a towel in hand.

'Good morning, Marlene,' Lily smiled. Marlene McKinnon was another fifth year student from Gryffindor. Bright, vivacious and sharp, mixed with her blonde long hair and playful eyes, she was sorely sought after. But her interests, much to the dismay of many boys in the school, were purely academically based. Lily and her friends got along very well with Marlene, but she usually kept to herself.

'Morning!' she replied brightly, flashing a toothy grin and drying her hair the Muggle way. 'All set for the holidays?'

'Pretty much, I've just packed the last of my things,' Lily motioned to her pristine trunk. 'I'm sure going to miss this place though,' and sighing sadly, she heaved an unwilling Aurelia from the bed and, thrusting her uniform into her hands, pushed her towards the bathroom.

Marlene didn't comment, it was a well known fact that Aurelia was not a morning person and that this was a normal occurrence.

'Would you like to sit with us at breakfast, Marlene? You're more than welcome!'

Marlene shook her head sadly, motioning to a book she picked up off her bed side cabinet. 'I've already made plans.' Lily nodded and added, 'The offer is always open, if I don't see you, have a good summer,' and with that, Lily, a grumbling Aurelia in tow, made their way down to breakfast.

The Great Hall was filled with the sound of clinking cutlery, rapid conversations and the smells of bacon, egg and burnt toast. Lily and Aurelia sat on the Hufflepuff table today, between the Slytherin and Gryffindor tables. As they sat down, cloaks swishing from the movement, Celeste looked up from a plate of toast and strawberry jam to welcome them with a grin.

'Fancy seeing you two here on this side of the hall!' she joked, blue eyes sparkling, then as if she had just remembered, her grin turned to a frown and she looked over Lily concernedly as if she was sickening for something.

'How are you feeling?'

Lily just disregarded the question with the wave of her hand, she wasn't getting into the details now, not when everyone was excited for the holidays. As they tucked into their deliciously warm breakfasts, Lily glanced up to the teachers long table that sat overlooking the four houses.

Her eyes were drawn to a vacant seat usually filled by Madam Pomfrey, the school nurse.

Lily's was confused, 'Aurelia,' she said abruptly, 'Mary is out of the hospital wing isn't she?'

Aurelia looked up, lips pouted in confusion. 'Lily she wasn't in the dormitory this morning, her bed didn't look touched either.'

Celeste turned her head towards the pair, 'Maybe her parents picked her up last night,' she looked around to see if anyone was listening, 'you know, after what happened.'

Lily bit her lip and turned to look at the Gryffindor table, James was staring at her. It unnerved her, so she continued to look around the table searching for the familiar sleek and shiny brown hair of Mary Macdonald. She couldn't see her anywhere.

'Look, I'm going to go to the hospital wing okay?' Lily stood up.

'Lily, no! Look I'm sure she's fine, and you'll miss the carriages to Hogsmeade station if you go now! Everyone's leaving in half an hour.'

But Lily, ignoring their protests, sped full speed towards the hospital wing, not stopping as she rushed through secret passages and behind tapestries until she entered the stark white room, her nose filling with the smell of pepper up potion (left over from the hoard of students suffering from hay fever).

Sitting alone in the bed closest to Madam Pomfrey's quarters was Mary Macdonald, sitting up in bed having her bandages dressed by the nurse.

* * *

><p>'James,' Sirius drawled. 'Ja-ames!' He waved his hand in front of James' face, finally getting his attention.<p>

'Merlin, you still aren't pining over Evan's, are you?'

Peter piped up, 'She made her intentions pretty clear yesterday afternoon didn't she?'

The trio stared at him collectively. Peter promptly sunk into the stool, clamping his mouth shut.

Remus looked at James, and openly said, 'I know what you're thinking, Prongs,' earning a sceptical look from James in his direction.

'You're wondering why she chose Snape.' And Remus resumed eating his breakfast.

Sirius was staring at James, and didn't miss the flash of disbelief and hurt that lurked behind his horn-rimmed glasses, and he opened his mouth in surprise.

'You're kidding, Prongs,' whacking him on the back, 'Snape is a disgusting old slime ball,' he laughed.

Peter piped up again, 'All he has is an excess amount of grease!'

Sirius looked proudly at him and ruffled his hair so that it stood on end.

'Good work, Pete.'

Looking down on his watch, Sirius let out a shout of joy, 'Only half an hour left to pack and get back down here, boys. Operation pack in 10 minutes is about to begin!' And racing from the table, not forgetting to flash some of the older sixth year girls a grin and a wink, rushed from the Great Hall, Peter trailing after James and Remus.

Aurelia looked at Celeste. 'Sometimes I don't know what I see in them.'

Vivian trudged her way towards the Hufflepuff table. Thursday being "Sit at Hufflepuff house table day". Packing her bags the night before, Vivian had a restless night, mixed faces and dreams messing up her thoughts and feelings. With one recurring couple, Olivier and Rachael.

If only she knew why.

* * *

><p>Lily's stomach churned, the cuts now looked weeks old, but the bruising was still fresh, yellow and green around her stomach region, and she winced when Madam Pomfrey drew her wand near her.<p>

'Miss Evans!' Lily jolted and looked up to see Madam Pomfrey drawing the curtains around Mary.

'I'm with a patient, and this really isn't visiting hours-'

'I know,' Lily interrupted. 'I'm sorry but we're leaving soon and I just wanted to say good bye.'

The nurse's stern eyes warmed and with a _humf _she waved Lily in an act of admittance.

Rushing around the curtains, Mary was watching Lily with a smile and watery eyes.

'Thank you for visiting, Lily.'

Lily found herself surprised to find her own eyes watering and her voice unstable.

'I had to see you, Mary.' Lily took a shuddering breath, closing her eyes and letting the tears flow freely down her cheeks.

'I feel responsible, I knew what Seve-' she breathed, correcting herself, '_Snape _was capable of, but I never said anything-'

'Lily!' Mary scooted over and patted the side of the bed, Lily sat. Mary had always been the mothering type, and took Lily in her arms, rubbing her back.

Mary continued, 'I'm okay you know,' Lily sobbed, 'Oh honey! I don't blame you! No one blames you! As if they could, you're Lily Evans for goodness sake! You stand up for everyone.' Lily looked up at her, wiping her eyes.

'You even stood up for Snape when Potter and Black were torturing him like that. You didn't have to, but you did.'

'No one blames you, Lily.'

Lily finally smiled, and hugging Mary gently, wished her a lovely holiday and felt the weight of the world lifting ever so slightly from her shoulders.

The Hogwarts bells chimed. Ten... Lily counted. Ten... thirty. 10:30am! Lily gasped, she was late, and rushing to grab her trunk from her dormitory, panicking at the lack of people around, she landed, wheezing, at the foot of the stairs in the entrance hall.

Lily, lost for breath, couldn't even groan at her luck today.

James Potter stood staring at her quizzically, one eyebrow raised, his eyes unfamiliarly stony behind his glasses, no smile playing about his lips.

For the second time in one day, James Potter unnerved her. And feeling suddenly self conscious, she tucked some bright red hair behind her ear and walked with decidedly less noise than before.

'There's only one carriage left,' James was still staring at her. 'Unless you fancy walking to the station.'

Lily's eyebrows contracted in confusion, she didn't know how to react to this version of Potter. The arrogant, egotistic Potter she knew; this one, she was left speechless.

She motioned towards the carriage as if to say, well let's go then; and the two walked in silence, James' easy grace countering Lily's tense grace.

Only when she had sat down in the carriage, wordlessly thanking Potter for placing her trunk in the luggage compartment did he look at her again.

'You'll be pleased to know, _Lily_, that I will no longer be troubling you.'


	5. Train to Nowhere

_Hello again! I know it's been much longer since my last update. Two weeks to the day I think, but year 12 has begun, and the end of the road for musical is here, aka I've had rehearsal almost every day and ontop of that I have school work. After this next week, when musical is over, then I'll be able to write more frequently. Hope you guys understand, but when summer holidays roll around it's gonna be update after update! _

_Also I've looked at poll results and three people have voted, and the majority have voted in favour of including 6th year. So I think I'll be including 6th year if no one objects else objects. Place your vote by next week so I can plan in more detail._

_Thank you for the reviews and readings!_

_Always, Eleanor x - PS You may get a hint of the whole Songbird theme beginning in this chapter._

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><p>'<em>You'll be pleased to know, <strong>Lily<strong>, that I will no longer be troubling you.'_

There was an unendurable sadness mixed with a coldness Lily was not familiar with. If she didn't know any better, she would say that this person, sitting opposite her in the horseless carriage, was not James Potter.

Lily looked into his hazel eyes, but they were closed off. Lily feeling herself being pushed back, though James had not moved in the slightest. He was plainly saying '_Don__'__t__you__dare__'__._

Did he realise how much time he had wasted in chasing me? Mused Lily. Did he realise I wasn't going to become a member of his lengthy conquests list?

Lily could think of nothing else to say, but in a fit of victory, pushed out 'Well thank Merlin for that!' She sighed in relief, 'you finally learnt what "No, Potter" means?'

Thunder rumbled overhead, rattling the carriage as it pushed along the dirt path. James' eyes flickered in anger and exasperation. He could not believe what he was hearing.

'You don't get it do you?' He pointed at her, and Lily pushed back into her seat, jerking away from his touch. James only looked more enraged by this, and could there possibly be a hint of disgust in his face?

'You think I'm just chasing you for the fun of it?'

Lily's mouth gaped in shock, Potter had never spoken to her like that before. This side of James was driving her mad. She didn't know how to act around him, the old James was easy, just scream at him. This James, she had to be more careful.

He was like a ticking time bomb, Lily didn't know when her time was up.

'What I think, is that you've finally realised that life isn't like one giant Quidditch match!' Her voice picked up, no longer being drowned by the sound of the thunder which continued to roll around, lightning flashing and casting an ominous glow inside the darkened carriage.

'I'm not the Golden Snitch and _you_can't catch me!'

James looked horrified, much like he had the day before, when Lily had accused him of being the same as Snape. So this is how she sees me? Thought James. He couldn't believe that he had been misunderstood for five years. He had to set this straight now. He just had to set her right, before he lost her forever, before she flew away.

'I was never trying to cat-'

Lily interrupted him by laughing cruelly, her eyes looked manic, she was beyond reproach. Her previous point had drove her to a position of invincibility. She could not be touched.

'Never tried to catch me? Make me one of your conquests? I will not be captured! I will not be bound down or ensnared!'

She slowly leaned forward with each word, trying to regain his eyes. If she had regained his eye contact, she would not have continued to say what she did next.

'I won't let you do that to me, Potter. I won't. Ever. I'm relieved you're starting to realise that

I. Don't. Want. You.'

James' eyes snapped back to hers, and Lily instantly drew back, breathing deeply from the close contact. His eyes clouded over, much like the sky outside the carriage, and Lily found herself being let in, not pushed back.

What she saw within his eyes sickened her to the stomach.

She had ripped him raw.

Tears mysteriously sprung into the back of Lily's emerald eyes, but she blinked them back, surprised at the emotion. Guilt pumped through her veins, she hadn't meant to sound so cruel.

The carriage slowed and came to a stop. The thunder roared. James stood to exit the carriage, but Lily shot her hand out to stop him, her small hand touching his arm.

Her hand surged, but she refused to shy away. She had to right things.

She couldn't believe how cruel she could be. She was turning into Severus.

'No, wait, Potter, I'm sorry I didn't mean to-'

James just pulled his arm out of her grip and without looking at her, entered into the storm.

Lily, shocked for a few seconds, stared down at her hand, her creamy white skin looked just as it always had. Unblemished, clear, unpainted nails. Just as they looked before.

She didn't know why she expected them to look different, the surge was just from her adrenaline pushing her to apologise. Lily didn't understand, this wasn't Potter. There was no wicked grin, no laughing eyes, no flirtatious jokes or innuendos and sudden proposals of marriage or something else equally ridiculous. He was so oddly... uninhibited.

A flash of light lit up the carriage, shocking Lily, as her hand flew to her heart, a gasp emitted from her mouth. She returned to the present, and jumping out of the carriage, performed a quick _impervius_on her belongings and her uniform before looking along the station's entrance for a look at Potter's familiar black hair. He was gone.

Lily rushed forward, pulling her trunk along and extracting a smaller backpack with her muggle clothing, and heaving her trunk onto the luggage compartment herself.

The small patterings of rain began just as Lily jumped onto the train, revelling in the warm, golden glow cast by the gas lights. The whistle blew, the doors were closed. The red carpet warmed the carriage as it began to rattle and move down the tracks.

Turning around, Lily found herself face to face with Vivian, already donning her muggle clothing. Jeans and a t-shirt bearing the name of some Wizarding band that she was in love with this week, Vivian grabbed onto Lily's arm, her other holding her uniform.

'Oh there you are! I came to check on you, Celeste was going crazy saying you'd missed the train and got eaten by a Grindylow or something. I wasn't really listening.'

Lily laughed uneasily, thoughts still weighing heavily on her mind. 'Hey, Lils, are you all right? You didn't laugh at my joke.' Vivian frowned and searched her face.

'Oh it's nothing,' Lily forced a smile and shook her head slightly as if to clear it. 'I had a run in with Potter and-'

'Say no more!' Vivian laughed, 'I can tell it wasn't pretty, let's get back to our compartment.'

Sliding the compartment door open, Lily and Vivian slipped inside, where they met a fretful looking Celeste who was staring out the window and wringing her hands in her lap, and a stressed looking Aurelia hiding behind an old copy of _Witch__Weekly._

Vivian grabbed Lily and pulled her in front, 'Look who I found!' Celeste and Aurelia turned around, looking relieved. Aurelia feigned indifference, slapping Celeste playfully on the arm.

'See I told you she was alive, Cell!'

'Hey! There was no call for violence!'

'Well you made me worry over nothing!'

The bickering continued, so Lily and Vivian sat down beside each other, Lily watching the sloping hills of the Scottish Highlands slowly drift behind them.

The hours drifted by, coupled by the light-hearted bickering between Celeste and Aurelia and Vivian enjoying her last few hours left of magic, sending their Chocolate Frogs, Every Flavour Beans, Pumpkin Pasties and at one point in time, Lily's book (much to her dismay) soaring around the compartment.

Lily finally retrieved her book, and settling down again, slightly dishevelled from jumping up and down to catch it, casually asked Aurelia about her holiday plans, her eyes drifting upwards to watch her expression.

Aurelia did not make any gesture, and for anyone else looking in on the conversation, it would appear that Aurelia did not hear Lily, but she knew her friend better. Her eyes widened ever so slightly, and strain appeared around her forehead, matching with a slight fiddling of the hem of her muggle cardigan.

'I don't have any plans,' Lily shut her book and leaned forward, giving Aurelia a look that plainly stated, _Don__'__t__lie__to__me._

Aurelia sighed resignedly, 'Oh fine, my family's been invited to Black's place for some sort of summer garden party. It's all the usual rubbish.' Lily groaned sympathetically.

'At least Black will be there though,' Lily said lightheartedly, 'you've always gotten along, though I have absolutely no idea why.'

Aurelia looked exasperatedly at Lily, no longer trying to hide her feelings, 'Lily, they're really not so bad, you've always had this stubborn resolve to hate them, but what have they really done to you personally?' Lily was about to answer but was interrupted, Aurelia was definitely not finished yet. 'And don't you say, _"__Oh__all__the__things__they__did__to__Snape__" _because you and I know well that he wasn't a little ray of sunshine either. They were both cruel to each other.' Lily sat back in her chair, slightly wounded.

'Look, I'm sorry, but I need to say this, you've been prejudiced against them long enough. I'm not saying be their best friend,' Lily looked outraged, 'I'm not! I'm just saying, try...' Aurelia searched for the word, 'try to be... nice?'

Lily huffed, crossing her arms, 'the only Marauder that I could ever be _nice_to is Lupin, and that's because he's half decent.'

Celeste looked up unexpectedly, something flashing across her eyes, before turning to look back on her muggle novel.

In Lily's distraction, Aurelia jumped back in, 'Half decent? Merlin, Lily! He's really sweet, and I'd have thought that with you and him being prefects this year you would have taken the opportunity to make friends with him, but no you paired off with Snape for rounds.'

'Hey! That's not fair, Snape was my friend then-'

'I know, but what about next year? You're both going to be prefects again, but I doubt you'll be pairing off with Snape again, right? So why not try for some Gryffindor loyalty and pair off with Remus.'

'Aurelia, why are you so intent on this?' Lily's eyes narrowed in suspicion. 'You haven't been put up to this by Potter and Black have you?' Aurelia didn't reply instantly.

'Have you?'

Celeste tried to calm Lily down, but to no avail. Vivian just shrugged at her as if to say _There__'__s __no __point._

'James feels really bad about the other d-'

'Oh so he's _James _now is he? How close exactly are you with them? I can't believe you, you turn against us to join forces with _them? _They're all arrogant, pig-headed, egotistical brats who've had everything handed to them on a Goblin made platter embedded in a sea of diamonds!'

'Really, Lily?' Aurelia seemed almost disappointed. 'Five years of living in the same tower as these boys, taking the same classes and spending free time in the same room, and that's all you've got?' Aurelia stood up. 'You've always claimed to be a great judge on character, and being able to read peoples feelings, but I'm afraid your talents in this respect have been grossly exaggerated.'

And with that, Aurelia slipped out of the compartment, the sliding door closing with a small _click._

Lily felt the blood rush to her face, a sudden heat that she could not, for the life of her explain. Embarrassed? Why should she be embarrassed? Everyone knew that the Marauders were show offs and rule breakers. Everyone knew that.

Aurelia's resolve however, the disappointment... Was Lily feeling shame? Her judgements on character had always been right, why would anything be different with the Marauders, after all, they were just another group of idiot boys.

Right?

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><p>James trudged his way towards the compartment known to belongto the Marauders. One of the slightly more roomier of the Hogwarts Express compartments, Sirius and James had bagged this compartment after Severus and Lily had exited it back in first year, and five years later, the quartet were still there. They lounged about, playing loud games of Exploding Snap and eating barrel loads of Honeydukes chocolates, courtesy of Sirius.<p>

Entering the compartment dressed in his muggle clothing, a simple pair of dark jeans and a button up green shirt, James sat down in silence, gaining Sirius's attention, who looked up from his game of Exploding Snap with Remus.

'All right there, Prongs?'

James did not immediately reply, but looked up at him and opened his mouth, as if deprived of speech. He nervously moved his hand to the back of his neck, ruffling his hair.

Sirius picked up on these signs quickly, and moving from his seat next to Remus, prodded Peter to move and sat in his spot. Peter pursed his lips but stood up, tottering over to sit with Remus and continue the game.

Sirius, to many, was seen as a flirtatious, loud and unconcerned person, but the Marauders seemed to be the only ones who knew differently. Sirius' eyebrows contracted with concern and he nudged over to James and lowering his voice.

'What happened with Lily?'

James wasn't even shocked, Sirius knew everything about James, sometimes he felt as if Sirius knew more about him than James knew about himself.

'She hates me,' James' voice broke off, suddenly shaky. Sirius gruffly patted him on the shoulder.

'Nah she doesn't, mate. She wants you, she just doesn't know it yet.'

'Padfoot you can't use that anymore! She looked me in the eye and said, "I don't want you", she was so happy that I didn't ask her out for once.'

James' voice was no longer shaky, but had acquired a faint and distant quality. As if he was no longer in that compartment, but far off somewhere.

'This is what she wants. I'm not going to bother her anymore, she obviously hates me so I won't waste my time anymore.'

Sirius looked at Remus and Peter, Remus was feigning ignorance to the situation, but Peter had a kind of difficulty in showing subtlety.

With a kick from Remus, and a yelp from Peter, he obtained a look of quiet reservedness, as if he was at James' deathbed.

Sirius turned back to James, 'Now I want you to listen to me, Prongs, don't shake your head for the love of Merlin just _listen_. I know it's tough, though I can't really say I know what you're going through, just give her some space or something.'

James looked up, 'Wow, Padfoot, who knew you could be so deep?'

Sirius grinned toothily, his grey eyes brightening, 'I'm not, it's the excuse I give all girls,' he took on a look of painful reservation, 'Look we've had such a great time together, but I need some space,' He looked up at James, the ghost of a smile on his face, 'I'm not ready for a long term relations-' And he consequently burst into a fit of laughter, the sound resolutely sounding like a bark. Ironic huh?

James finally cracked a smile, and shaking himself, looked at Sirius, 'Coming over these holidays?'

Sirius suddenly looked nervous, a trait not usually seen on his handsome face.

'What?' James looked at him, 'What happened with your parents?' His eyes suddenly darkened at the thought, 'They still on about this dark magic phase going on?'

Sirius looked down, 'I can't do it anymore Prongs,' he looked back up, 'I don't know what to do.'

James took him gruffly by the shoulder, 'Move in with my parents and I,' Sirius looked up, his eyes sceptical, 'Look, Mum and Dad already look at you like a son, why not live under the same roof?'

Sirius looked at James, 'Are you sure?' James just disregarded the question with the shake of his head, 'What are brothers for?'

Sirius' face cracked into a full blown grin, 'Thanks, mate,' and prodding Peter again, returned to his game with Remus, losing spectacularly and spending the rest of the train ride saying how it was Peter's fault.

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><p>The train slowed to a complete stop, the whistle echoing loudly at the cloudy London sky which was slowly darkening from the late afternoon. The doors opened and the sounds of parents being reunited with their children filled the air, mingling with the mist from the train. Lily loved this moment, watching the faces of parents, wide and often tearful, opening their arms wide and having their children rush forward towards them. She, Vivian, Aurelia and Celeste stepped onto the platform, collecting their trunks, and found a small clearing.<p>

Celeste was the first to crack, tears springing into her eyes. 'You will all write me won't you?'

'Aww Cell!' Aurelia enveloped her in a hug, patting the back of her head. 'Of course we will, I would invite you to mine if my parents weren't crazy.'

Celeste looked aghast. Lily took over the comforting, 'We'll meet up, and hopefully go to Diagon Ally together in August!'

Reassured, Celeste released Aurelia and turned to hug Vivian and Lily, 'If you need me Lily, just owl okay?'

Lily looked stunned, Celeste always had a knack for picking up on false senses of happiness, for Lily it was one of those moments.

Smiling slightly, Lily replied, 'Of course, you too.' And as she moved away to join her nervous parents, Lily turned to give one final wave to her best friends slowly disappearing into the mist.

'Oh Lily! Welcome home, honey!' Lily's mum hugged her tightly, 'Have a good year?'

Lily nodded and hugged her Dad, who was smiling gently at her. He took her trunk for her and began leading them off the platform towards their car.

Lily sighed, the thought of going home was bittersweet, and she wondered if whether a year would have changed anything between Petunia and herself.

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><p>James stood next to Sirius, having said goodbye to Remus and Peter and promising to catch up within the next week. Sirius watched James sadly as he followed his gaze towards Lily who was embracing her mother and father.<p>

James didn't say a thing, he just turned and disappeared into the darkness leaving Sirius alone.


End file.
